Went to a party, shared my booze, gave people gas money, shared my cigarettes, acted like a fucking idiot.

….I don’t think other people found me as annoying as I might think, but goddamn I wish I acted better in public..

I don’t think I was meant to drink at parties…. Or drink at all for that matter, but of course I’m going to keep drinking when my son isn’t home.

I just act retarded when I’m drunk. I hate the way I speak, the way I approach people, the shit I tell other people, and how disrespectful I can get. It’s overwhelming. Not everyone likes to listen to everything you have to say, Shelby. Please stop embarrassing yourself because you’re just making a fool of yourself.

I came home and went to bed, but woke up four hours later. Ever since then I’ve been on the verge of an anxiety attack. I’m trying to hold it back. I dont want to wake anyone up. I’m just dealing with it….

I also think I’m developing an eating disorder due to having baby weight…. I feel huge though I’m really not. The last actually meal I ate was 4 days ago. My boyfriend made steak for dinner(my favorite) and I just picked at it. It tasted disgusting and my self esteem fell with every bite. It’s been that way ever since and I try to force myself to eat, but only when my hypoglycemia is screaming at me. I’m kinda scared though… I don’t understand whats going on with me. :(

I just wanna lock myself in a hole….

If you don’t want your dog attacking other dogs, THEN FUCKING LEARN TO TRAIN THEM THE RIGHT WAY OR DON’T GET A DOG AT ALL. Especially a pitbull. Our dogs already have a bad rep. It’s ignorant fucks like you that make it even worse.

In three more days, my son is going to be three months old. He’s going to start eating baby cereal soon. 

Holy. Shit….

Where has the time gone?